As it's time to welcome the new year, I've given my blog a fresh new look. I think the sunset theme is pretty nice, and has some sort of a calming effect. Still in the process of adding more elements, so the next few days will see more changes to the layout. =)
Basically my 2008 is divided into 3 phases: NS phase in the 1st third of the year, Slacking phase in the 2nd third, and University phase in the 3rd.
Ever since taking up administrative jobs in my NS unit, I found work more interesting and days easier to pass. Much thanks goes to my friendly and caring Platoon Commander. I was involved in planning the unit's CNY celebration this year. It was rather fun though hectic (and problematic in seeking permission as well). Guiding an understudy can be pretty enjoyable too. I was fervently counting down to my ORD date while teasing his, haha.
Nothing much happened during the slacking period in the middle of the year. I was just rotting at home with Xbox, RPGs, MMOs, Jdramas, studying for JLPT, etc. Getting to know the Zhui Xing clique is probably the most significant event then.
So came the Uni phase. It wasn't really as enjoyable as I expected before. In fact I felt busier than during JC, even without any CCA participation. Didn't make much new friends too, as I often hanged around with my previously known ones. Except for two, I haven't been keeping contact with the rest of my orientation groupmates. The frequency just doesn't match.
Looking at the resolutions I made last year, I guess most of them are more or less fulfilled. No point making resolutions which I've no enthusiasm or ability in fulfilling.
My resolution for 2009 simply covers studies, friends, health, Nihongo and savings. Thanks Reiko for consolidating my resolutions on the Zhui Xing blog!
Hope to have a more enjoyable semester next year, despite the ugly timetable. Lots of expectations coming up for the next school holiday though!
Sayonara 2008!
*have to go to ZH's house now for 'countdown' gathering*
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
School Nostalgia I
Went back to my alma mater yesterday morning for my sister’s Primary 1 Orientation. There wasn’t a special day set aside for orientation when I was P1 back then, so the very 1st day I met my teachers and classmates was the 1st school day after New Year. I remembered many P1 students crying as they had to separate from their parents and assimilate with the big crowd of strangers in the hall. It was a chaotic situation and the cries and screams made the already noisy hall even noisier. I was afraid of the crowd then, but I think I didn’t cry, just feeling very tense and lost. Thus the pre-school opening orientation is good in a sense to prevent such disorder resulting from unfamiliarity and fear.
Though I only spent my last 2 years of primary education in the school, it still holds my greatest impression and best memories in my entire primary school life. This is where I met my ‘oldest-still-in-frequent-contact’ friend XH too. The school compound has changed a lot throughout the years, with more colourful painted walls, extended shelters, additional erected barriers, playground, nicer-looking canteen, etc. Most of the facilities and structures have been modified to become more user-friendly children-safe and aesthetically pleasing.
I was surprised to see some teachers still teaching in the school after 10 years. It was lightening to know that they have been promoted to HODs or senior teachers. However the same person remains as the discipline master. (XH do you remember who was he?)
---
On my 1st day, I was brought to the classroom for administrative matters. Several pamphlets on healthcare, moral habits, tuckshop (super outdated name for canteen), and academic information were handed to us. “Keep it properly. If you lose it, you are stupid.” This was what the teacher-in-charge said to us. Wow, what an impactful statement. (that’s why I remembered it till today) I doubt any teachers will say such things nowadays haha.
While we were inside the tiny classroom, our parents were eagerly observing us through the windows from the corridor. That resulted most of my classmates, including myself, to become distracted and not focused on what the teacher mentioned. Somehow I just can’t lift my eyes off my mum, who was smiling at me all the while. At that age, I’m still very much dependent and afraid to be alone. I think the teacher also had problems in keeping the class attentive.
---
Back to my sister’s classroom, it is huge and spacious, and even has room for parents to enter to join their kids. There is a shutter behind the classroom, which if opened, can combine the adjacent classroom too. Of course for such a big classroom, a microphone is present on the teacher’s desk, especially useful for soft-spoken teachers. The best thing is, there are computers lined up along the sides of the classroom! So convenient! I wonder if the P1 will be taught how to use a computer, though I feel it’s a little fast. I didn’t know how to use a computer until P4, but I was already playing video games on the TV since kindergarten. (educational games lah)
---
The bell rang and it was time for my very first recess. My mum brought me to the canteen cum hall and helped me buy a bowl of porridge. My first recess meal was so memorable that I think I still remember how the porridge tasted like. There was no buddy system that time hence the parents had to guide their children in buying food. A really chaotic scene indeed.
The recess dreadfully ended and we had assemble, line up, then return to our classrooms. Once again, I reluctantly parted with my mum, who went off somewhere. This time there were no parents watching us from outside. Self-introduction proceeded but most of us could only murmur inaudibly. I wished the day would end quickly so I could go home.
My form teacher taught Chinese, which means we didn’t get to see him quite often. Since there were many more English lessons, my class had the false impression that our English teacher was our form. This was still alright, until P2 when my form teacher taught Malay. Didn’t even get to see him at all. I wonder if he even knew me (and the other Chinese students). The comments he wrote on the report book were only based on my results...
---
Likewise, my sister has a Mother Tongue teacher as form. But there is a co-form teacher as well, who teaches English so that everyone can see her frequently. I think having two form teachers is not bad, at least there are more teachers who can hold responsibility for the students hehe.
Hopefully my sis will be more independent than me on her 1st day of school this Friday. The briefing has assured that the P1 will be properly looked after by teachers, buddies and prefects such that they will be able to go around without the help of parents. Looks like a lot have changed since 15 years ago eh?
Though I only spent my last 2 years of primary education in the school, it still holds my greatest impression and best memories in my entire primary school life. This is where I met my ‘oldest-still-in-frequent-contact’ friend XH too. The school compound has changed a lot throughout the years, with more colourful painted walls, extended shelters, additional erected barriers, playground, nicer-looking canteen, etc. Most of the facilities and structures have been modified to become more user-friendly children-safe and aesthetically pleasing.
I was surprised to see some teachers still teaching in the school after 10 years. It was lightening to know that they have been promoted to HODs or senior teachers. However the same person remains as the discipline master. (XH do you remember who was he?)
---
On my 1st day, I was brought to the classroom for administrative matters. Several pamphlets on healthcare, moral habits, tuckshop (super outdated name for canteen), and academic information were handed to us. “Keep it properly. If you lose it, you are stupid.” This was what the teacher-in-charge said to us. Wow, what an impactful statement. (that’s why I remembered it till today) I doubt any teachers will say such things nowadays haha.
While we were inside the tiny classroom, our parents were eagerly observing us through the windows from the corridor. That resulted most of my classmates, including myself, to become distracted and not focused on what the teacher mentioned. Somehow I just can’t lift my eyes off my mum, who was smiling at me all the while. At that age, I’m still very much dependent and afraid to be alone. I think the teacher also had problems in keeping the class attentive.
---
Back to my sister’s classroom, it is huge and spacious, and even has room for parents to enter to join their kids. There is a shutter behind the classroom, which if opened, can combine the adjacent classroom too. Of course for such a big classroom, a microphone is present on the teacher’s desk, especially useful for soft-spoken teachers. The best thing is, there are computers lined up along the sides of the classroom! So convenient! I wonder if the P1 will be taught how to use a computer, though I feel it’s a little fast. I didn’t know how to use a computer until P4, but I was already playing video games on the TV since kindergarten. (educational games lah)
---
The bell rang and it was time for my very first recess. My mum brought me to the canteen cum hall and helped me buy a bowl of porridge. My first recess meal was so memorable that I think I still remember how the porridge tasted like. There was no buddy system that time hence the parents had to guide their children in buying food. A really chaotic scene indeed.
The recess dreadfully ended and we had assemble, line up, then return to our classrooms. Once again, I reluctantly parted with my mum, who went off somewhere. This time there were no parents watching us from outside. Self-introduction proceeded but most of us could only murmur inaudibly. I wished the day would end quickly so I could go home.
My form teacher taught Chinese, which means we didn’t get to see him quite often. Since there were many more English lessons, my class had the false impression that our English teacher was our form. This was still alright, until P2 when my form teacher taught Malay. Didn’t even get to see him at all. I wonder if he even knew me (and the other Chinese students). The comments he wrote on the report book were only based on my results...
---
Likewise, my sister has a Mother Tongue teacher as form. But there is a co-form teacher as well, who teaches English so that everyone can see her frequently. I think having two form teachers is not bad, at least there are more teachers who can hold responsibility for the students hehe.
Hopefully my sis will be more independent than me on her 1st day of school this Friday. The briefing has assured that the P1 will be properly looked after by teachers, buddies and prefects such that they will be able to go around without the help of parents. Looks like a lot have changed since 15 years ago eh?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Anomie
This sociological term is what I've learnt from my module. Put it simply, 'anomie' refers a state of normlessness, or a malady of infinite aspirations. I found this word interesting as I feel it accurately describes the mental state of many people in the society today (probably including myself too). To avoid falling into this social trap, I guess it's important to understand what anomie is about.
In the society today where there is huge surge of information through the Net, and when traditional habits start to erode, we are faced with numerous possibilities to fulfill our personal satisfaction. For example, we can earn as much money as we want, pursue as much education as we want, strive for any kind of job based on meritocracy. However as a result, we tend to set high expectations for ourselves, up till a point where it might be impossible to attain. Though the goals may seem attainable individually, society as a whole may not be able to accommodate the demands from everyone.
We all hope to get rich, we aim to possess at least as much money as we could spend. However if we think on the bigger scale, is it really possible for everyone to get rich? Even in a small country like Singapore? Economic resources are definitely insufficient to go around and ensure each and every individual is satisfied. (That's one reason why the study of economics exist.) If we are lucky to have a combination of factors that contributes to material success (eg. family background, opportunities, ability), we might be able to become a member of the upper class, amassing large wealth and income. But majority of us could only linger around the middle class region, which is not that bad actually. The unlucky ones would be thrown into the lower class, where they would be trapped in a vicious cycle and unable to break out from their poverty state.
Similarly, we all want to secure good-paying jobs. The media has also helped in advocating the belief that prestigious jobs equate success. The idea of becoming a doctor or lawyer might be outdated now, but we still desire to have an above-average pay. If we look at the population aiming for such jobs, then look at the number of positions available. Is it really possible to satisfy everyone? The mismatch between job demand and supply has resulted in a harsh struggle within the society. We want to gain a step ahead of the rest, and to achieve a head start early in life. That's where education comes in.
The 'competition' starts the moment we are born, when our parents inculcate knowledge and beliefs to us, which might prove useful in our future. "If you study hard, you can succeed." Not implying that this statement is untrue, there are limitations to it. We all can study, but can we all succeed? Of course such route to success is the norm, but that are cases where success is achieved by other means. We cannot hope that just studying hard will bring us success, neither should we think that by following alternative means, we could succeed as well. Failures do exist on both sides of the spectrum.
So why are we so obsessed in pursuing possibly unattainable goals? Like what the saying goes: 'Life is a game of chance.' If there is a chance to become successful, why not? While striving for our aspirations, we must also realise the limits. Think about it, how many others are seeking the same ambition as us?
Personally I think it's fine to have big goals, but potentially damaging to carry rising expectations. In other words, we must be prepared to accept failure while we aim for our goals. It's up to the individual to decide if he/she wants to live with the current state, or continuously seek to surpass others. But most importantly, it's necessary to observe the big picture of society rather than looking matters in a personal perspective.
Let's imagine if everyone's goals are satisfied. If everyone were to earn a monthly income of 4k, inflation would definitely follow where a plate of chicken rice no longer cost a mere $3. If everyone scores excellent grades in school, the academic standard will be increased. If everyone has a university degree, it will be as useful as toilet paper. To prevent such situation from happening, there will always be differentiation and classification to distinguish the 'good' from the 'bad', or maybe the 'best' from the 'good', or even the 'most bestest' from the 'best'.
By realising limits, we can probably lower expectations, minimise disappointment and reduce emotional stress. Disillusionment and despair usually follow those who don't notice the problems of social accommodation. Therefore we must be careful not to fall into trap of infinite aspirations, created by the mass media and modern capitalism. Countering anomie is more of overcoming a psychological barrier.
In the society today where there is huge surge of information through the Net, and when traditional habits start to erode, we are faced with numerous possibilities to fulfill our personal satisfaction. For example, we can earn as much money as we want, pursue as much education as we want, strive for any kind of job based on meritocracy. However as a result, we tend to set high expectations for ourselves, up till a point where it might be impossible to attain. Though the goals may seem attainable individually, society as a whole may not be able to accommodate the demands from everyone.
We all hope to get rich, we aim to possess at least as much money as we could spend. However if we think on the bigger scale, is it really possible for everyone to get rich? Even in a small country like Singapore? Economic resources are definitely insufficient to go around and ensure each and every individual is satisfied. (That's one reason why the study of economics exist.) If we are lucky to have a combination of factors that contributes to material success (eg. family background, opportunities, ability), we might be able to become a member of the upper class, amassing large wealth and income. But majority of us could only linger around the middle class region, which is not that bad actually. The unlucky ones would be thrown into the lower class, where they would be trapped in a vicious cycle and unable to break out from their poverty state.
Similarly, we all want to secure good-paying jobs. The media has also helped in advocating the belief that prestigious jobs equate success. The idea of becoming a doctor or lawyer might be outdated now, but we still desire to have an above-average pay. If we look at the population aiming for such jobs, then look at the number of positions available. Is it really possible to satisfy everyone? The mismatch between job demand and supply has resulted in a harsh struggle within the society. We want to gain a step ahead of the rest, and to achieve a head start early in life. That's where education comes in.
The 'competition' starts the moment we are born, when our parents inculcate knowledge and beliefs to us, which might prove useful in our future. "If you study hard, you can succeed." Not implying that this statement is untrue, there are limitations to it. We all can study, but can we all succeed? Of course such route to success is the norm, but that are cases where success is achieved by other means. We cannot hope that just studying hard will bring us success, neither should we think that by following alternative means, we could succeed as well. Failures do exist on both sides of the spectrum.
So why are we so obsessed in pursuing possibly unattainable goals? Like what the saying goes: 'Life is a game of chance.' If there is a chance to become successful, why not? While striving for our aspirations, we must also realise the limits. Think about it, how many others are seeking the same ambition as us?
Personally I think it's fine to have big goals, but potentially damaging to carry rising expectations. In other words, we must be prepared to accept failure while we aim for our goals. It's up to the individual to decide if he/she wants to live with the current state, or continuously seek to surpass others. But most importantly, it's necessary to observe the big picture of society rather than looking matters in a personal perspective.
Let's imagine if everyone's goals are satisfied. If everyone were to earn a monthly income of 4k, inflation would definitely follow where a plate of chicken rice no longer cost a mere $3. If everyone scores excellent grades in school, the academic standard will be increased. If everyone has a university degree, it will be as useful as toilet paper. To prevent such situation from happening, there will always be differentiation and classification to distinguish the 'good' from the 'bad', or maybe the 'best' from the 'good', or even the 'most bestest' from the 'best'.
By realising limits, we can probably lower expectations, minimise disappointment and reduce emotional stress. Disillusionment and despair usually follow those who don't notice the problems of social accommodation. Therefore we must be careful not to fall into trap of infinite aspirations, created by the mass media and modern capitalism. Countering anomie is more of overcoming a psychological barrier.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Judgment
About 10 hours more before the judgment's out. Currently feeling a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Right after the exams, I wished the results would be released immediately, but now I hope the day wouldn't come as soon.
This is so similar to receiving O and A Level results, just that we have to face it twice a year. Really hope for a pleasant surprise, and in order to minimize disappointment, I shall try not to make any prediction nor carry high expectations. But I can't help thinking about how this semester's result is so crucial to the rest of my university life.
Looking forward to the celebration on Wednesday does make me feel much better. Merry Christmas in advance to all =).
This is so similar to receiving O and A Level results, just that we have to face it twice a year. Really hope for a pleasant surprise, and in order to minimize disappointment, I shall try not to make any prediction nor carry high expectations. But I can't help thinking about how this semester's result is so crucial to the rest of my university life.
Looking forward to the celebration on Wednesday does make me feel much better. Merry Christmas in advance to all =).
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
惬而不舍
欢乐时光总是过得非常快。在我们还未好好享受时就不经意地结束了。 我今年最惬意的时光，不是在家里无所事事的三个月，也不是在大学就读的第一学期，更不是在兵营里心急等待退伍的时候，而是年初渡游轮，在吉隆坡半天四人游的日子。虽然短短三天，但能与好友出国度假的感觉，是非笔墨能形容的。
如果懂得把握眼前享受的东西，生活会变得更充实。只要不轻易放弃喜欢做的事，快乐其实不难求。
上个礼拜天考了日语能力测验，对自己的表现有点失望。尽管做足了准备，练习往年考题，但始终听力读解还是不理想。还敢敢说自己是日剧迷。。。
不禁问自己为何学日语，是纯粹为了个人兴趣，还是为了通过考试？最初的目的似乎变得模糊了。考试往往会抹杀对科目的兴趣，可是对我来说，为日与考试准备反而是件蛮快乐享受的事，肯定比大学考试轻松几百倍。正在考虑明年应该继续报考，再试探自己语文水准，还是选择脱离考试的束缚，寻求学习的真正意义。
日语能力测验的最大缺点是，只专注在听解和读解，而不包括对话和书写。换句话说，测验只考接受能力，不考应用能力。所以即使自己合格最高等级的测验，在能说一口流利日语的别人面前，相形见绌，也会显得很逊。
虽然如此，达不到一定的水平，我依然会坚持学习日语。毕竟已走了这么远，半途而废实在太可惜。语言这东西，不进则退。为了不让多年的努力白费，就只好继续往前冲，更何况我对日语仍然持着一份热忱期待的心。
在现实生活中好不容易找到自我满足的事情，怎么能轻易舍弃呢？
如果懂得把握眼前享受的东西，生活会变得更充实。只要不轻易放弃喜欢做的事，快乐其实不难求。
上个礼拜天考了日语能力测验，对自己的表现有点失望。尽管做足了准备，练习往年考题，但始终听力读解还是不理想。还敢敢说自己是日剧迷。。。
不禁问自己为何学日语，是纯粹为了个人兴趣，还是为了通过考试？最初的目的似乎变得模糊了。考试往往会抹杀对科目的兴趣，可是对我来说，为日与考试准备反而是件蛮快乐享受的事，肯定比大学考试轻松几百倍。正在考虑明年应该继续报考，再试探自己语文水准，还是选择脱离考试的束缚，寻求学习的真正意义。
日语能力测验的最大缺点是，只专注在听解和读解，而不包括对话和书写。换句话说，测验只考接受能力，不考应用能力。所以即使自己合格最高等级的测验，在能说一口流利日语的别人面前，相形见绌，也会显得很逊。
虽然如此，达不到一定的水平，我依然会坚持学习日语。毕竟已走了这么远，半途而废实在太可惜。语言这东西，不进则退。为了不让多年的努力白费，就只好继续往前冲，更何况我对日语仍然持着一份热忱期待的心。
在现实生活中好不容易找到自我满足的事情，怎么能轻易舍弃呢？
Monday, December 08, 2008
It's snowing! (V)
*Almost forgot that today is Hari Raya. Shocked to see my parents at home when I woke up this morning. Haha.
It has been freezing cold the whole day. Even during noon the temperature seemed to be that of nighttime. Felt like I was in another non-equatorial country. Hmm, I wonder what's the lowest temperature for today.
Of course, such chilly weather reminded me to blog this entry haha. Well, it has come to 5th installment, and the number reflects the age of my blog. (after subtracting one that is)
My school holiday unofficially starts from today. Borrowed some books from the central library to kill time for the next couple of weeks. This should be the first time I'm being so proactive in reading during holidays. However they are not English nor Chinese books though. Hehe...
Now that my tuition assignment has ceased, I guess it's necessary to become more frugal to sustain my current zero income state. Here are some steps I wish to take in order to reduce my expenditure:
No spending on:
- non-social activities (eg. eating alone, shopping alone)
- anything that can be obtained from the Web for free (cheapskate I know...)
- fashion (after all 不潮不用花钱)
Increase:
- eating home-cooked food
- non-chargeable social activities (eg. boardgames, Servbot's 'creations')
- family outings (we all know why)
I think I need a heater...
It has been freezing cold the whole day. Even during noon the temperature seemed to be that of nighttime. Felt like I was in another non-equatorial country. Hmm, I wonder what's the lowest temperature for today.
Of course, such chilly weather reminded me to blog this entry haha. Well, it has come to 5th installment, and the number reflects the age of my blog. (after subtracting one that is)
My school holiday unofficially starts from today. Borrowed some books from the central library to kill time for the next couple of weeks. This should be the first time I'm being so proactive in reading during holidays. However they are not English nor Chinese books though. Hehe...
Now that my tuition assignment has ceased, I guess it's necessary to become more frugal to sustain my current zero income state. Here are some steps I wish to take in order to reduce my expenditure:
No spending on:
- non-social activities (eg. eating alone, shopping alone)
- anything that can be obtained from the Web for free (cheapskate I know...)
- fashion (after all 不潮不用花钱)
Increase:
- eating home-cooked food
- non-chargeable social activities (eg. boardgames, Servbot's 'creations')
- family outings (we all know why)
I think I need a heater...
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